Fingertip Titans UniteWhat do you think?
March 29th 2007 21:35
When someone in your life needs encouragement, how do you go about lifting their spirits? What kinds of things do YOU find uplifting and encouraging?
I am not a very touchy-feely kinda gal, but I AM an emotional person, and I'm also an intellectual person. So for someone to tell me that I'm "Cool" is a nice compliment, but it isn't really encouraging, but if someone tells me something like "That's a good idea" Now THAT turns my crank.
So I'm wondering, along the lines of "How to encourage" Not like "How to encourage your child to potty train" because that isn't really encouraging, that's guidance and teaching. I'm talking about the kind of encouragment you give someone just to make them feel good about themselves.
And I want to know, what do YOU find encouraging?
I am not a very touchy-feely kinda gal, but I AM an emotional person, and I'm also an intellectual person. So for someone to tell me that I'm "Cool" is a nice compliment, but it isn't really encouraging, but if someone tells me something like "That's a good idea" Now THAT turns my crank.
So I'm wondering, along the lines of "How to encourage" Not like "How to encourage your child to potty train" because that isn't really encouraging, that's guidance and teaching. I'm talking about the kind of encouragment you give someone just to make them feel good about themselves.
And I want to know, what do YOU find encouraging?
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Comment by David
As James Elroy would say, "Now, that's a good question!"
I'm anti false-praise or flattery ... I don't like hearing it, and I don't like using it ... (it's too Dale Carnegie-ish or too Tony Robbins-ish for me ... I can't stand all that rubbish ..
I just like to be honest with my encouragement ...
(and think about what the nature and purpose of encouragement is ...
To me, it's to keep people going or to inspire them to reach even greater heights ...
So, if someone writes something or does something that I think is good? I'll just say that I really like what they've written or what they've done ... and tell them why usually ...
It's never easy to do this ... because it has to be tailored to the individual ... (and sometimes encouragement will even include constructive criticism ... which in my mind is designed purely and simply to make the person realise their own potential and achieve it ... it's not a 'criticism' per-se ... but modern people are so touchy .... they've been raised on a diet of false flattery and false praise ...
To give you a concrete example? ... I said to a writer only recently ... your writing is unique and inspirational ... (and to me, my main purpose in saying it was for it to be a genuine and sincere compliment ... [but it still qualifies as encouragement ...
Encouragement to me is little more than forgetting oneself for a while to take a genuine and sincere interest in the talents and gifts of others and to let them know that you're not jealous of them and want them to have all the good things in life from their own talents that you wish upon yourself ...
The type of encouragement I like?
Simple things that are just as genuine and sincere ... and I can tell it's what the person truly thinks in their mind and heart ... (and they're not bullshitting me ...
They range and vary ... because i write a lot of different shit ...
But to give you another concrete example? ... If I write a humorous piece and get a commment like:
You are so damn funny ... (I'm passing this on to other people ...
I call that encouragement of the highest degree ...
I'm a pretty misunderstood individual ... I give encouragement all the time ... because I believe that support and guidance and encouragement are sadly lacking nowadays ... (a lot of people overlook the amount of encouragement I give to others ... but it will never stop me dishing it out ... because I think it's one of the greatest things in life ... it's my way of counteracting all the criticism that's around at the moment ...
And In terms of this Post of yours? ... My way of offering you encouragement is to spend the time I have writing what I have ... I even consider that a form of encouragement ... (I dont' read every Blog or every Post ... I only read and comment on the ones that interest me ...
David ...
Comment by Anonymous
So in terms of being practical - the kind of encouragement I'd give would depend on where they were. If they were very clear about where they wanted to go but were just feeling a little discouraged, I'd try to comment on progress they'd made or how what they were doing was in sync with their vision or something along those lines.
If they were in a place of not really knowing what they were wanting or just generally feeling crappy about their lives, I'd probably focus a little more on asking questions to help them find something exciting and delicious to focus their attention on. That way they don't need encouragement per se, just someone to help light their own fire.
What do I find encouraging? Not being a shy gal, standing ovations are always welcome
Jacqui
Comment by Fingertip Titans Unite
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
David, You have too. (although, I had to question your sanity at the "cutting off my arm" series) You're always a hoot.
Thanks guys. i wonder what a -Critic- would find encouraging? Criticism? hmmmmmm.
Comment by Anonymous
Paul
Comment by Wendi
Sometimes, I send silly greetings. Sometimes I send flowers... but not just any flower. I select one based on color and flower properties, and include the "definition" in the attached card so they know what energies I'm gifting them with.
I think it depends, too, on the situation. Am I encouraging them to have faith? To get well? To stay strong after a turbulant epidsode? What it is I'm encouraging will reflect the ways in which I encourage.
I hope that makes sense... it's late. *SMILES*
Comment by Wendi
Sometimes I send encouragement without them even knowing. I call them Wendi Wishes.
Comment by Gideon
Encouragement to me is one of the most awesome things we could do for each other. In essence, I believe the word encouragement means to "build up" and to "give courage".
So, this could be done in many different ways, words of course being the most obvious one. There's an old proverb that says
"An anxious heart weighs a man down,
but a kind word cheers him up."
and another one...
"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."
and another one...
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
So, obviously, using the right kind of words can be extremely up-building and encouraging.
But I dont think it stops there - I reckon there are a whole lot of things that we can do to encourage, without even using words. For example, it could sometimes be very encouraging to someone else just by listening to what they've got to say and providing them with the sympathy they need. At other times, we could actually do a kind deed that the other person will appreciate and that would lift their spirits.
I personally thrive on it when someone gives me a compliment about something I did for them. This make me feel worth something and makes me feel needed - and heck, who doesnt want to feel worthy and needed!?
That's my 5c worth anyway!
Cheers!
Gideon van Schalkwyk
Author of Millionaire Drop-Out Secrets
Get Your FREE Copy Of The First Three Chapters At:
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